My Thanksgiving

Well, it's been nearly two weeks since my first Botox injection. Every morning I wake up hoping that my voice disorder hasn't returned, yet. The fact is that I'm taking a remedy, which I know is different from a cure. Even though I was told to make an appointment for a follow-up visit, another round of injections in three months, I now have hope that maybe I can control my spasmodic dysphonia. I have renewed concentration in vocal exercises,which I learned from past therapists/practitioners/readings. Feedback from others(family, colleagues, children and parents at school) is positive and encouraging. I can totally empathize with those who have an illness or condition that appears and the frustration and hopelessness that can follow. I am also thankful for the strength to be accepting and keep going.

Now for Botox....

Well, after struggling with spasmodic dysphonia for 3 ½ years, I have no more alternative remedies to try ….. and I’m tired of this. So, I decided to take my (primary)doctor’s suggestion and go back to the UCLA ENT for Botox injections. I’ve been reluctant for a number of reasons, but at this point, I’m ready to try medical intervention.

Yesterday I had my first Botox injection. Rather, my first two injections, one on each side of my larynx. The two marks looked fitting for upcoming Halloween … like a vampire bite, but they’ve already faded. The doctor was very thorough, telling me of possible side effects. It will take some time to see if the dosage is right since he considered my voice disorder to be fairly severe on the scale of voice disorders.

So, I’m hopeful, as is my family. My throat/voice feels no different, but then it never did. It’s not until I try and speak that the condition becomes apparent.

As I’ve tried to teach my children, there’s always a lesson to be learned. This challenge has reinforced something that I’ve often shared with teachers, the importance of speaking directly to others (esp. children). Forget shouting room to room or across a room, the communication loses its value. Speaking face to face, within a short distance, is the most effective way to verbally communicate. Then, of course, a lesson that my husband is probably very happy that I’ve come to better understand….. no point in saying inconsequential things, save the talk for what’s important and at the right time, when there’s not competition from other sources (such as a basketball or baseball game that’s on television). 

I’ll keep you posted….

1: My Story

For the past two and half years I’ve been on a mission, a mission to find my voice. As a person who has always enjoyed trying to figure things out on my own (not always a good thing!), reading mysteries, doing crossword puzzles, etc., I'm frustrated with not knowing what happened to my voice. In addition, I  have that 'oldest child-mother of three-school director' feeling of responsibility and feel as if I’ve lost control of a very important part of myself. Not understanding this condition has led me on a quest.  In this blog, I will share my experiences thus far, in the hopes that it might help another. Plus, this blog is an attempt to reach out to others, to those beyond my own acquaintance, who might have some answers. I’ve been on a journey and have had experiences with both traditional and alternative medicine in trying to solve this mystery.  I'm still searching.

I know that there must be someone out there, in the realm of social networking, who has had a  similar experience.  I’d love to hear of someone who has overcome a voice disorder, and can share methods and recommend medical contacts. I’ve been diagnosed, as a doctor at UCLA ENT dept. said, with “classic Spasmodic Dysphonia” and was told that there’s no cure, perhaps a short-term fix. I’m not ready to accept that, so I’m still searching for answers. 

My daughter, who writes online both professionally and recreationally suggested this blog. After much thought, for I haven’t even joined Facebook, I decided that the blog might be reciprocally beneficial. Maybe my journey can help another person, and hopefully I’ll learn from someone else about their experience with this condition. If you, the reader, know of anyone who might have experience in this area, either as a patient or practitioner, please pass this on. I’m looking forward to hearing from you.